Window to the Past

I've been having 

difficulty 

falling asleep these days.

I start thinking 

about my 

future possibilities.

About tomorrow,

about a month from now,

or even about 5 years from now.

...and I get anxious. 

So when I feel that way,

I try to remember 

the past days.

The thoughts on

future makes me feel 

excited and anxious

but 

the memories of the past days,

the feeling of nostalgia 

makes me feel 

calm inside.

I remember anything.

It could be anything. 

I just pick one thing.

Sad or happy,

it doesn't really matter 

what it is. 

Even the sadness 

becomes something of the past. 

I can't recreate the pain,

which is nice.

I can just remember 

how I was feeling

but it doesn't hurt me anymore.

It's mostly the days 

when I was still in college

that I try to remember.

I try to recreate 

the environment in my mind

and try to remember 

what I was wearing,

what I was thinking,

how it was smelling around me,

who I was walking with

......

...

.

Sometimes, 

I pick one photo 

I've taken

or 

a photo that I am in.

I try to walk through 

the memories 

thorough the photo.

Well, 

I try to use a photo 

as a window to my past 

and try to recreate the environment

further more 

from the clues 

I am give by the photo.

Anyways, 

by the time 

I am actually 'walking'

through past days

(in my mind) 

I am usually asleep. 

I like imagining 

about my future

but I am not necessarily 

good at planning 

my future.