It's okay

I realized there are things


that time can't heal.


I realized,


I just need to live with it.


It doesn't matter,


what you tell me,


or what people tell me.


The little thorn that pricks my heart


doesn't seem to go away,


because we can't repaint our past.


It feels like


a heavy stone falling on my stomach,


and it makes me feel like I'm sinking


into the dark.


I know I just have to understand:


past is past


present is present


some things can't be repainted over,


because even if I try


the old paint will find its way


to bleed out above the new paint.


...But maybe


in the future


if I am brave enough


I will overcome my fear


and say that the pain is nothing


and maybe I can just lift up that heavy stone


and throw it into the dark I was sinking.


I don't have to NOT feel the pain


of the past,


but I just need to be okay with the past


and say that


past is the past


and past is what made today.

Pretty Things

I remember when I was little,

I would find crow or pigeon feathers

on the street.

I thought they were gorgeous.

My mom would tell me not to touch it

because they've got germs.

I remember feeling sad

to part with such pretty things.

I got these peacock feathers

at Fremont Fair.

I'm still thinking

what kind of headdress I should make.

Fun.

Death

You might think I'm weird,

I think about death very often,

or maybe it's more like

the word "death" is always somewhere in my mind somewhere.

No, not like a suicidal thought.

Though somewhere in my mind, there's me quietly saying

"what if I die now,

at this moment,

at this place."

Maybe it's my fascination in life.

Somewhere in the world,

at this moment

there are new lives, their brand new histories

that are to begin.

At the same moment,

countless stories are closing their last chapter.

I've begun to think more about these things

ever since the tragic incident of my coworker.

...and my mind drifted away again today

after I saw a video of a girl who got shot

while standing at a side walk with her father

to see the protest that was going on.

She died in less than 2 minutes after she got shot.

Her possible story,

her possible history,

it's all gone and done.

Besides people's memories of her,

everything is going to stop living.

I imagine a book with half the book blank.

So many stories could have been written there,

and how sad people can take that away from others.

I am not an activist,

and I don't think I will wear a peace sign or anything...

but today,

for some reason

I found myself

sincerely wishing for

a world

where everybody could finish their stories happily.

One Sunny Day at a Fish Market

Something was not quite right at the fish store

in Pike Place Market.

The rubber-made prank fish was

jumping up and down like a mad person.

I got curious, and went around to see the person who was doing that.

Have you noticed a gentleman in a white suit

who almost looks like he came out from the early 1900s.

....and I've seen this gentleman in my neighbor,

I've seen him walking on campus,

I've seen him at the pub I go to,

but instead of during the night, he's there during the day time....

he is all over the place,

and he is always dressed so classy...

it makes me wonder,

whether he really is a ghost?

A mischievous ghost?

That would be kind of romantic, I think.

Anyways, he scared the tourists for quite some time,

and he left with a big grin on his face.

He made me smile.

I love adults who are a child at heart.

Trabant Coffee

Trabant Chai Lounge 

I think this is the only place that I can trust 

in my neighborhood. 

I enjoy the music they play too. 

Today, I believe in the power of word....

Yes, I do.

I feel happy, and I needed only three words to feel this way.

But it couldn't have been the same, 

if I said it any time earlier.

One sunny day at Pioneer Square.

The Glasses from the 60s which

 I found at Pioneer Square Antique Mall.

They look lovely under the sun,

I couldn't resist.

Good news for me: 

Singha Beer is pretty good.

Now I know I can find good beer in Thailand.