During summer and winter break
when I was back in Japan,
I used to not
tell my old friends that I was back.
I was kind of scared to see
how people would react seeing
how much I had changed.
'Change' meaning that I wasn't 90 lbs anymore.
The truth is that
I like myself right now better
but I wasn't sure if my old friends
felt the same.
I guess, in a way,
while I was struggling with anorexia,
I constantly had this feeling of guilt
that I was lying to my friends and to myself.
I never felt like I showed who I was
or let myself to be who I was.
It's just recently
that I started to accept my past
and tell my friends that I was mentally ill.
I haven't told everybody yet,
but it's not a problem for me anymore,
I can laugh and tell you about
everything that I was going through.
Shimokitazawa is a place where I used to go
almost everyday after high school.
It was my favorite
shopping/wandering around spot.
After not seeing each other for 5 years,
me and my friend from junior high
went out drinking in Shimokitazawa.
We talked about music and art and
about the junior high days
and we both agreed that it was fun time.
I think we're getting old...
We both used to be almost straight-A students
....up until Junior high.
Alas...what had happened.
P.S. 5 days more days.
