shimokitazawa

During summer and winter break

when I was back in Japan,

I used to not

tell my old friends that I was back.

I was kind of scared to see

how people would react seeing

how much I had changed.

'Change' meaning that I wasn't 90 lbs anymore.

The truth is that

I like myself right now better

but I wasn't sure if my old friends

felt the same.

I guess, in a way,

while I was struggling with anorexia,

I constantly had this feeling of guilt

that I was lying to my friends and to myself.

I never felt like I showed who I was

or let myself to be who I was.

It's just recently

that I started to accept my past

and tell my friends that I was mentally ill.

I haven't told everybody yet,

but it's not a problem for me anymore,

I can laugh and tell you about

everything that I was going through.

Shimokitazawa is a place where I used to go

almost everyday after high school.

It was my favorite

shopping/wandering around spot.

After not seeing each other for 5 years,

me and my friend from junior high

went out drinking in Shimokitazawa.

We talked about music and art and

about the junior high days

and we both agreed that it was fun time.

I think we're getting old...

We both used to be almost straight-A students

....up until Junior high.

Alas...what had happened.

P.S. 5 days more days.