M

bicycled: 9/10 days

boozed up: 10/10 days

slept past 3 AM: aprox. 7/10 days

woke up after 11AM: 8/10 days

saw shooting stars: 2/10 days

had espresso: 0/10 days

had ice cream: 3/10 days

ate unhealthy: 8/10 days

realized how high the sky is: 10/10 days

Appreciated the slow paced life: 10/10 days

loved: 10/10 days

A Midnight Visitor

I've been having a visitor

at around midnight.

It comes suddenly.

It comes with silence.

It comes with full of curiosity.

It explores my room

and relax a little,

and then when it's satisfied,

it leaves without a word.

The only toy I have

is the peacock feathers I bought

at Fremont Fair.

It seems to like it very much.

It's only like 10 minutes a night but,

this sudden guest is

definitely enlightening

my night.

I hope it comes back tomorrow too.

Sunday, Sunshine, and sandwich

The Other Coast Cafe

location: Ballard

This is definitely one of

my favorite sandwich shops

in Seattle.

I had Roasted Veggie.

I think Jimmy Jones does a good job

making good sandwich.

However, I think this place's beats theirs.

I like the atmosphere too.

winter coat

I will get it out,

and say bye

to

me

and say hi

to

new me.

Nothing different,

just better

just like taking off my heavy winter coat.

But I don't know

if you like my process of me

taking off that coat

because, just like a girl in a dressing room

and a boy waiting outside the room,

I am going to make you hold

my heavy old winter coat

while I change.

But once I'm changed,

we can go throw that old skin away.

...So I hope

you don't get tired

me taking so long in the dressing room.

"I'm almost ready."

It's okay

I realized there are things


that time can't heal.


I realized,


I just need to live with it.


It doesn't matter,


what you tell me,


or what people tell me.


The little thorn that pricks my heart


doesn't seem to go away,


because we can't repaint our past.


It feels like


a heavy stone falling on my stomach,


and it makes me feel like I'm sinking


into the dark.


I know I just have to understand:


past is past


present is present


some things can't be repainted over,


because even if I try


the old paint will find its way


to bleed out above the new paint.


...But maybe


in the future


if I am brave enough


I will overcome my fear


and say that the pain is nothing


and maybe I can just lift up that heavy stone


and throw it into the dark I was sinking.


I don't have to NOT feel the pain


of the past,


but I just need to be okay with the past


and say that


past is the past


and past is what made today.

Pretty Things

I remember when I was little,

I would find crow or pigeon feathers

on the street.

I thought they were gorgeous.

My mom would tell me not to touch it

because they've got germs.

I remember feeling sad

to part with such pretty things.

I got these peacock feathers

at Fremont Fair.

I'm still thinking

what kind of headdress I should make.

Fun.

Death

You might think I'm weird,

I think about death very often,

or maybe it's more like

the word "death" is always somewhere in my mind somewhere.

No, not like a suicidal thought.

Though somewhere in my mind, there's me quietly saying

"what if I die now,

at this moment,

at this place."

Maybe it's my fascination in life.

Somewhere in the world,

at this moment

there are new lives, their brand new histories

that are to begin.

At the same moment,

countless stories are closing their last chapter.

I've begun to think more about these things

ever since the tragic incident of my coworker.

...and my mind drifted away again today

after I saw a video of a girl who got shot

while standing at a side walk with her father

to see the protest that was going on.

She died in less than 2 minutes after she got shot.

Her possible story,

her possible history,

it's all gone and done.

Besides people's memories of her,

everything is going to stop living.

I imagine a book with half the book blank.

So many stories could have been written there,

and how sad people can take that away from others.

I am not an activist,

and I don't think I will wear a peace sign or anything...

but today,

for some reason

I found myself

sincerely wishing for

a world

where everybody could finish their stories happily.